Satan's Unicorn

Apparently, there's a McRib Locator.  You read that right.  And a McRib was spotted in Manchester THIS VERY MORNING. 

What am I doing in Dover when McRib's are luxuriating in their burnt tasting brown "sauce" in the Queen City?!  How come I haven't run to Manchvegas when I know full well that a sandwich made from parts of the pig a wolf wouldn't touch is being topped with pickles less than an hour from here?!

Oh.  Right.  Because the McRib is Satan's answer to unicorns.  Mysterious, possibly mythological, items of pure ugliness and darkness that suck all goodness from every person, pet and thing that they come in contact with.  That must have had something to do with my lack of enthusiasm.

Now if they could just come up with a PizzaFest Locator, then my dreams would be answered!  What's that?!   They HAVE?!  And it's readings are showing a strong showing of pizza ectoplasm coming from downtown Dover, NH in Henry Law Park?!* 

YAY!  PIZZAFEST!

See?!  Even Sky Sign is excited!

Sigh.

All I can think about is Pizza.  Monique said I accidentally called Niko & Misha, "Niko & Mozzarella" Tuesday night when I was drifting to sleep.  I got out of the shower this morning and accidentally dried myself off with a calzone.  That doesn't even make any sense!  We're not having a CalzoneFest!  I've had three Pizza related nightmares in the last week.  Surprisingly, none of them having to do with me being lactose intolerant.  Don't worry, double bandoliers of lactaid shall be strapped across my chest at all times Saturday night.

See you there!

* - I don't know why the pizza has ectoplasm on it.  Are they ghost pizzas?  Did ghosts recently touch some of the pizza?  And if so, did they at least use some of the sanitizer from the many museum Purell stations?  Ghost have germs too.  They call them, "ghost germs" and they were responsible for decimating an entire Lithuanian village in the late 1800s / early 1900s.  (They didn't keep good records of "ghost germs" then.  So while it probably only happened during 1898 or 1901, ectoplasmic historians sort of give you that 20 year window to cover their asses.) **

** - The historians aren't ghosts, they just study ghosts. 

Did Somebody Say PizzaFest?

Are you ready for 200 pizzas? They're arriving on Saturday! Looking forward to seeing you and your family at PizzaFest 2010 Saturday, October 16 5:00 - 8:00 PM $10 per person until 5 pm on Friday $12 per person at the door(children ages 2 and under are free) Children's Museum of New Hampshire 6 Washington Street, Dover All proceeds benefit the museum's education-based programs and exhibits All-You-Can-Eat Pizza from 11 Pizzerias! Bring your appetite ... there will be more than 200 pizzas on hand, each cut into small tasting slices. You are welcome to try as many as you like and vote for your favorite in the People's Choice category. Each of these restaurants is bringing plain cheese as well as their choices of specialty topping pizzas: Amato's of Somersworth Dover House of Pizza Kendall Pond II of Dover La Festa Brick & Brew of Dover Panzanella's Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant of Newmarket Papa Gino's of Dover Papa Jay's Pizzeria of Dover Portsmouth Pizza Factory River Bend Pizza & Subs of Dover Smiley's of Dover Uno Chicago Grill of Dover A panel of local celebrity judges will choose Best Crust, Most Creative Toppings and Best Overall Pizza. Judging this year are Seacoast food writer Rachel Forrest, Slice of NH pizza bloggerAndrew Toland, accordian player/radio host/ocean swimmer Gary Sredzienski, and Dave Flood of DoverNH.tv and producer of Dover Eats! Shop our Silent Auction for holiday gifts! In between slices, stroll through our Silent Auction, with great merchandise and gift certificates. There are items in all price ranges, generously donated by local and regional businesses and sports teams. This is a great opportunity to start your holiday shopping so bring your gift-giving list.Items up for bid will include: NEW! 4 adult lift tickets to ski Mt. Cranmore NEW! 2 U.S. roundtrip tickets on AirTran NEW! Man and woman's IBEX winter jackets  NEW! Overnight stay at any Inns & Spa at Mill Falls properties NEW! Case of international red & white wines from M.S. Walker Wine & Spirits NEW! Six months of instruction at Matt Randall's Black Belt Academy NEW! Tickets to Manchester Monarchs, UNH Football, UNH Women's Hockey, more NEW! Tickets for Boston Ballet, Seacoast Rep, NH Theater Project, Hackmatack Playhouse, Ogunquit Playhouse, Palace Theatre, Capitol Center for the Arts and the Popovich Comedy Pet Circus the Music Hall NEW! Guest passes for Six Flags, Castle in the Clouds and Canobie Lake's Screamfest NEW! Italian-inspired dinner for 8 prepared and delivered by museum's Carol Chambers NEW! Home energy evaluation by Energy Star builder Roe Cole NEW! Landscape design consultation by Norm Fracassa of Fracassa DesignWorks Football autographed by Tom Brady from the NE Patriots Ladder truck ride & station tour from Dover Fire Dept Two-night stays at The Mountain Club at Loon and Village by the Sea in Wells Game tickets to New England Revolution, NH Fisher Cats and Portland Sea Dogs Baseball autographed by Victor Martinez from the Boston Red Sox Guest passes to StoryLand, Liquid Planet Water Park, York's Wild Kingdom, Indoor Ascent, ChildLight Yoga, McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center and Squam Lakes Science Center Four rounds of golf at The Oaks in Somersworth Hardcover copy of House Rules autographed by NH author Jodi Picoult $200 vet visit for a dog donated by Piscataqua Animal Hospital Restaurant gift certificates to Wentworth by the Sea, The Riverhouse, The Common Man, Bedford Village Inn, Loco Coco's Tacos, Blue Mermaid, Texas Roadhouse, Barley Pub, T-Bones/Cactus Jack's, The Goldenrod, Dos Amigos, 106 Kitchen Bar and many more Reserve your place at PizzaFest today! PizzaFest is a limited-capacity event so make your reservation by calling the museum at (603) 742-2002. You may also make reservations at the front desk during your next visit to the museum.Advance tickets are just $10 each and only available until 5 pm on Friday. If space permits, tickets will be available at the door for $12 each on Saturday.  No tickets will be issued - your name and number of people in your party will be put on a guest list for check-in at the door.  Thank you in advance for your support of the non-profit  Children's Museum of New Hampshire! Early Closing: Please be aware that the museum will close at 4 pm on Saturday to prepare for PizzaFest. Cancellation Policy: All sales final. There are no refunds but if you are unable to attend after making your reservations, you may call and substitute another person's name for yours on the guest list.