Wednesday, February 12, 2014

17 Weeks -OR- Ghost Lime

17 Weeks.

17 Weeks of LQF.

And even though 4 weeks = 1 month, thus 16 weeks SHOULD = 4 months, he's not technically 4 months old until Sunday, when he's almost 18 weeks old.

I think time is getting . . . wider.

Can time get wider? Sifl & Olly say it can. So that's enough for me.


So, 17 weeks. My kid. My son. He's pretty great.

Can I still type on this thinking pad? Do all my songs just turn into sappy power ballads and slow love songs now? That's not all bad. "Beth" is one of my favorite KISS songs. Granted, I don't like most KISS songs so it's not a very high stakes contest. Although I probably only like it because of its inclusion in Wet Hot American Summer. (Or, "Wet Hot" as we call it in the industry.)

Weird times. I stopped by at Sonny's Tavern tonight to pick up a paycheck after running to the grocery store before our weekly blizzard. Sonny's. Which is where I run, "Zach's Trivia Night" since the place I used to run it suddenly closed - which is where I used to run it since they had moved from their smaller original location - which is where I used to run it originally. And is where I'm running it again now. I know it sounds dirty, but it only makes us cousins by marriage. Liz, Quita and Alex were all there. So we were all in the place we used to work. But don't work anymore. But with all the same people and the same music. Well, I guess I kind of still work there. In the way that lime was kind of a flavor in a box of Runts. (Which - what does that say about me? Since it wasn't even lime. It was watermelon. Do I consider myself to be ghost lime? And at worst, a FICTIONAL GHOST LIME?! That said, I hope I'm a dark green ghost lime. Otherwise, what's the point?)

My entire house is covered in glitter. The computer, my phone, my child, those good for nothing cats, my face. We've been making Valentine's like we're some sort of . . . Valentine's factory . . .machine. Jeeze. Sometimes it takes a while for the muscle memory to return I guess. I'm still looking for the joke keys on this comp. Is it Ctrl+8? Prt Sc? I don't know if Monique is covered in glitter. She's in quarantine. Hopefully the glitter couldn't break through her dacron bubble.

I want everyone to be my child's aunt and uncle. If I'm going to buy the whole damned world a coke, the least it can friggin' do is act as an infinite loop of extended family to my child.

What if LQF is part of a prophecy? He doesn't seem to have strange markings. And I don't think Trelawney overheard anything about his birthday. I think he's part of the prophecy that brings happiness and unending light to his Mom, his Dad, his Nanny, his Nana, his Grampas, his Grammie, his Memere, his Muppets, and everyone else. Which, seriously? Is way better than a stupid can of coke. Especially regular coke. Just eat a salt lick. A salt lick made of sugar instead of salt because they look so similar and Inspector #19 has a astigmatism. Lemon Meringue Pie is great and all but that meringue can be gritty as all get out.

Sugar on my teeth that I can feel. Sugar on my tongue. 

I don't need gritty in my life anymore. It's mostly been removed. Either because it was evil, a waste of my time, bad for my teeth or all three.

Happy 17 Weeks, LQF. Your Ghost Lime loves you.

Dad, I'll stick both hands in my mouth at the same time. Does that make it easier to make Valentine's Day cards?